Online dating apps and I have a tumultuous relationship. I am still recovering from my experience on Bumble BFF, which is the version of the dating app meant to help you find friends rather than romantic interests. I had been reluctant to the idea, but after a phone call with my best friend in which he yell-told me that I am “getting in my own way” and that I need to take my social life “into my own hands”, I tentatively re-downloaded the Bumble app and switched it into BFF mode. Because I was searching for friends rather than a romantic partner, I swiped right on every picture I saw, figuring I might as well give myself options. There were only 37 photos total, so I quickly finished looking through them all. Then I waited. 48-hours later I remained 0 for 37. Being fully rejected on Bumble BFF is a very particular experience I wish upon no one. I deleted the app immediately after. A few months later, curiosity spawned by the momentary lull between midterms and final...